MPL

Most times, I generally succeed at keeping this blog from devolving into a series of inside jokes and narrow-audience humor. This is not one of those times.

MPL is a song by three University of Illinois College of Medicine students: Alex Cantrell, Jon Paul Youakim, and Christian Nuñez, set to the tune of Howie Day's "Collide". The song chronicles their experiences as first-year students (M1's). It is named after the Minimum Passing Level (MPL), meaning the minimum grade a student must achieve to pass a test or class. Most M1 medical school classes are graded pass/no pass/outstanding. MPL is usually between 60% to 73%.  Recurrent themes include having no time, barely making it through the year, and accidentally signing up for med school.  The song was performed at a variety show/fundraiser after a series of soul-crushing exams. 

Lyrics as performed:

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
I've been dissecting...
So-I-just dont have a clue
Yeah

This guy I'm carving
Been here for so long
Why am I starving in this place?
That sounds so wrong

M-1 is way too hard sometimes
Knowing I'm always out of time
Think I'm going out of my mind
I somehow find
I get M-P-L

Labs every evening
So much used latex
Can't think of seeing
all-of-that without the sex

What a smokin' class
So many hot girls
Some love could be worth makin'
Too bad that most are taken.

No girl for me
No S-T-Ds
No girl for me
(Yeah, I'm still free)

Signed up to shadow
Doctors think I'm smart
Until I saw the patient in the nude
I had to barf!

What the hell is that?
I've never seen that!
I'm not touching that!
(I didn't sign up for THAT!)

Even if I survive this time
I'll graduate without a dime
Think I'm going out of my mind
I somehow find
I get M-P-L

Els taught Physio
My brain stenoses
But he assured me...
[Fake South African accent] "It-can't-get harder than this"

Immuno-micro
So many gross pathogens
I know that I shouldn't for-
-get to wash my hands!

Even if I survive this time
I'll graduate without a dime
Think I'm going out of my mind
I somehow find
I get M-P-L

Can't stop to
Procrastinate
I'm so behind

M-1 is way too hard sometimes
Knowing I'm always out of time
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
We will all survive

(From Christian)