How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son is an Onion News Network video spoofing anti-gay parents' worst fears on Halloween. Lovely.


(From Guy>)

The Rent Is Too Damn High Party

The Rent Is Too Damn High Party is a political (?) party running in the upcoming General Election for the City of New York and County of New York. Hands down, it's the most awful website in the history of websites. It was made by a time-traveller from 1996, complete with bursting firework gifs. Precious.

However, what makes it awesome is their ridiculous song on loop. You can't not not not love it. A+.

(From Dave H.)

This Peanut Looks Like a Duck

This Peanut Looks Like a Duck is a website about things in the shape of a duck. If you spin and squint real hard. Love it.

The splash page is really classy, and once you get in it's really trashy. The huge ads atop, the clutter at the bottom. Still, some nice duck-looking images.

(From Kian M.)

Raptor Hoodie Shirt

Raptor Hoodie Shirt is the cutest kid's shirt ever. OMG. Why didn't I think of this before?! 

(From Boing Boing)

All about beards

All about beards is a self-explanatory website. According tot he authors, its purpose is to "increase awareness, appreciation, and understanding of the beard. The intended audience is anyone who has any interest in or curiosity about beards. It is also intended for anyone who has an opinion about beards, whether good, bad, or neutral. Whatever your opinion on beards, I hope a visit to these pages will improve it to some degree. This site is an informal experimental project in beard research. "

The design is pretty awful, but the gallery is pretty entertaining. I don't know why, I like the short cropped beard look. Enjoy!

(From Buzz)

Unfortunately Named Professionals

Unfortunately Named Professionals is a totally juvenile list-article on Buzzfeed about professionals with funny names for their situation. I am so totally 12.

(From Buzzfeed)

Memoir of a former abortion addict

Memoir of a former abortion addict is an LA Times news story about Irene Vilar, now a mother of two, who wrote a memoir of about led her to have 15 pregnancies ended.

Exerpt:

"She describes her abortions as part of a misguided quest to free herself from the burdens of a complicated and tragic family, then as part of an immensely dysfunctional dynamic with her first husband, a professor of Latin American literature whom she met at Syracuse University when she was 16 and he was 50.

'We could be a couple as long as I relinquished my desire for children,' she said of her husband, 'a disturbingly handsome man" who taught her that 'families are nests of suffering" and informed her that he preferred young women because they are "unformed . . . unfinished, with not too many wounds.' Children, he told her, were incompatible with freedom. (Her ex-husband, Pedro Cuperman, did not respond to an e-mailed request for comment.)

Again and again during their 11-year relationship, she rebelled: 'Forgetting' her birth control pills, she would get pregnant, feel the thrill of self-determination, then panic that she would lose her husband, seek an abortion and collapse in relief and despair.
...'I can completely understand the discomfort that some feminists feel,' said feminist author Robin Morgan, who wrote the book's foreword. 'There is a perfectly human tendency to say we can't afford ambiguity, we can't afford nuance. I am afraid it comes from years of being pummeled by the extreme, anti-choice right. The truth is that it's a complicated issue.' "

Pretty crazy.

(From Buzzfeed)

I Love xkcd

I Love xkcd is a cute internet video by noamR based on the comic strip "xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel." It's kind of whimsical and darling.

(From Metafilter)

Checkmates

Checkmates is an Upright Citizen's Brigade comedy sketch original where, "a good-girl chess player falls for a bad-boy checkers player from the streets." Way ludicrous. A+.
(From Justin and Wilmar)

uPlaya

uPlaya is an online service where independent music artists can upload their songs and be given an automated score of the hit potential of that song. Boom. You no longer need humans to run record lables. Or something.

I dislike how the "success stories" section has no success stories. Okay, I want song examples, people. 

Also, best question from the FAQ: "Isn’t music supposed to be art?"

Also, one metafilter commenter notes,

"This strikes me as a high tech version of the old songwriting competition / modeling agency scam, the kind of thing where almost everyone is assured they are primed for success, and they have some fees you can pay to enter contests for a chance to make it big. I feel like a rube just for giving them my email address.

This is snake oil. We have been uplayed®." 

(From Metafilter)

Someone Else's Money (part II)

Someone Else's Money (part II) is a follow-up of the two-part This American Life co-production with NPR News on the health insurance industry. I'm amazed at the cost of medications, and how hidden those figures are.

(From my iPod subscription)

They Shoot Porn Stars, Don't They? [NSFW]

They Shoot Porn Stars, Don't They? is a Not Safe For Work 10-page self-published essay written and photographed by Susannah Breslin. She wrote it for a publication, but it got pulled, and so she self-published. Normally I hate it when stories are split into pages, but with the photos atop I didn't mind so much. Plus, the site design is by Chris Bishop whose crowning achievement is the "Obama Rides a Unicorn" shirt.

The first page is... shocking. The whole essay is kind of... interesting. It reminds me of this sex and the law class I once took as an undergrad. Enjoy?

Highlights:

A long time ago, I asked Jim why he makes the movies that he does. He told me that when he was a teenager he had wanted to see what happened to the girl in the horror movies when the camera cut away from the action. What he had wanted was more. Hardcore, at least for a while, took him there.
...
If “2 Girls 1 Cup” is water cooler talk, what is offensive?
...
Among the potentially obscene videos were Powers’ “American Bukkake 11,” in which 83 men ---------------- a woman named Cotton Candy, and Butts’ “Tampa Tushy-Fest,” in which a woman can be seen ---------------- another woman and exclaiming, “Fuck yeah, that’s girl power!”
...
"Anybody that comes into this business, for the most part, is a broken toy.”
...
“If you want to have sex with Tori Black and don’t have chloroform, this is your next best option.” [Ugh.]
...
How far will we go if we are pushed to our limits?

PS: Pg. 5 made me wonder, has punk rock really always been associated with half-naked, bound, and kneeling female figurines? Weird.

(From Boing Boing)

T Pain Obama Auto-Tune

T Pain Obama Auto-Tune is a Youtube video of a T-pain digital short on Jimmy Kimmel Live.  Basically, they introduce the iPhone app where you speak into your iPhone and it autotunes it to make you sound like Cher/T Pain. (You can actually buy this app, so I slapped a "commercial" tag on this TOTI entry.)

They took a few Obama snippets and made it sound funny.  I'm not sure why they didn't even mention the Autotune the News folks, when clearly, this is their bag.  I mean, T-Pain even went on Autotune the News #8, so it's not like he wasn't aware of it. Whatever, I didn't watch the original Jimmi Kimmel live episode to know precisely if he mentioned it or not. 

I was also uncomfortable with the twinkling grills at the end... but less guilty about the amputation joke. Does this make me a bad person? 

Boop. Enjoy!

(From J. Pae)

Beyonce's Single Ladies covered by Pomplamoose

Beyonce's Single Ladies covered by Pomplamoose is a Youtube video cover of Beyoncé's hit Single Ladies.  I had seen this on Youtube but held off on it. I wasn't sure it was TOTI material, but then I saw it on Kottke, and it's gotten more than a million hits since... so why not. Looks like I missed a scoop. ANYWAY.

Pomplamoose describes it as,

"This cover is a VideoSong, a new medium with 2 rules:
1. What you see is what you hear (no lip-syncing for instruments or voice).
2. If you hear it, at some point you see it (no hidden sounds)."

Charming.  Deconstructs it, breaks it down, makes it look way simpler than it is. 

And now, obligatory comment:

YO Pomplamoose, Imma let you finish but... This is the best acoustic blues version ever. Enjoy!

(From YouTube, Kottke)

Dan Gilbert: Why are we happy? Why aren't we happy?

Dan Gilbert: Why are we happy? Why aren't we happy? is a Ted Talk by Dan Gilbert, author of "Stumbling on Happiness", who accordign to TED, challenges the idea that well be miserable if we dont get what we want. Our "psychological immune system" lets us feel truly happy even when things dont go as planned.

Basically, when we are given a choice between two paintings or photos, we can be unhappy with our decisions, but when one is foisted upon us, we manufacture happiness out of it. Seems surprising but plausible--at least for small decisions. I really still have a hard time believing in making a case for arranged marriages. Althought dating makes me miserable.

Bonus: The 2005 talk by Dan here.

(From EK)

Greeting Card Emergency Episode 6: Four Coming-Out Cards

Greeting Card Emergency Episode 6: Four Coming-Out Cards is a humorous Youtube video featuring David Ellis Dickerson, who makes greeting cards for unmet markets. Solid beginning, kind of overwrought, excruciating ending. Nonetheless, A+ for the cards.

(From Jelena J.)

391: More Is Less

391: More Is Less is an episode of This American Life. It's a two-parter, this week and next week, on the current health care crisis/reform.   Kind of dry, kind of awesome.   

Also the medscape news alert tells me that, "The Senate Finance Committee today passed a massive healthcare reform bill — mostly along partisan lines — that would eventually reduce the ranks of the uninsured by more than half."  Whee!

Edited for accurate links.

(From my iPod subscription)

The 10 Best Things That Have Ever Happened Behind A News Reporter’s Back

The 10 Best Things That Have Ever Happened Behind A News Reporter’s Back is a video list on Buzzfeed about the funniest reporter videobombs.

My favorite is the video above. Apparently, traders are very juvenile. Probably not safe for work.
(From Buzz )

Homeopathy & Nutritionists vs Real Science!

Homeopathy & Nutritionists vs Real Science! is a stand-up routine by Dara O'Briain about the public understanding of biological and health science.  

Basically, teehee. Especially after my CAM class on homeopathy. For the uninitiated, that's a field whereupon people think that "like cures like." They make healing potions by diluting something to or beyond avogadro's number... and shake the hell out of the bottle (calling it "succussion"). Then they call that an elixir and sell it to you. 

The routine is precious. 

(From Boing Boing)

The Drugging And Gang Rape Of A KBR Employee! Senator Al Franken

The Drugging And Gang Rape Of A KBR Employee! Senator Al Franken is a poorly titled youtube video (from C-SPAN2!) showing Al Franken presenting his amendment. This is dry but important!

Boing Boing explains,

"Al Franken successfully introduced legislation that denies federal contracts to companies that have policies -- anywhere in the world -- that punish employees for complaining about rape or discrimination on the job. This is in response to a KBR/Halliburton employee in Iraq who was drugged and gang-raped by co-workers and denied justice or even medical treatment, then locked in a storage container for 24 hours and told that she'd lose her job if she left the country to get medical help. She was also prohibited from suing or seeking criminal justice because her Halliburton contract forbade seeking any justice apart from private arbitration.

Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) tried to block the amendment, saying that it was a 'a political attack directed at Halliburton.' Franken replied, 'This amendment does not single out a single contractor. This amendment would defund any contractor that refuses to give a victim of rape their day in court.' "

Yes. Violence against women makes me ANGRY. GAAAAAAAH!!!!111!

(From Boing Boing)

One Nation Under Cthulhu

One Nation Under Cthulhu is a parody follow-up image to Jon McNaughton's One Nation Under God.

(From Reader Darc_Oso)

Star Wars Baby Costumes Gallery

Star Wars Baby Costumes Gallery is a picture/list/article on Gizmodo about nerd parents and their dressed-up nerd babies. Six outfitted toddlers, it's the cutest thing ever. What's not to love?

(From Buzzfeed)

One Nation Under God

One Nation Under God is a painting by Jon McNaughton.

Random first thoughts as I perused the painting with the mis-aligned magnifying glass:
1) Huh. So THIS is what would happen if Thomas Kinkade and Mel Gibson mated to produce viable offspring.

2) The artist appears to have a problem with Gibbons v. Ogden (presumably for defining federal Congressional law as supreme over state law), and yet no problems with glorifying Alexander Hamilton. Or James Madison. Or John Jay. OKAY!

3) He also presumably has a problem with judicial review (Marbury v. Madison) but no problem with Alexander Hamilton. EXCELLENT.

4) "Seperationist." Nice. Let's leave conlaw out of art, shall we?  
(From MJG, T. J.)

Go Girl

Go Girl is a commercial product that allows women to shoot pee out of a flexible funnel while camping. Charmingly available in pink.

Highlights according to my friend JenK: "Also the 'how to use it' section is really funny. 'Don't feel discouraged if you dribble.' "

I also noted the claim, "European women have used female urination devices for years." IS THIS TRUE? They have a different world across the pond that I never knew about. Comments please.

Amay-may.
(From JenK, TOTI's perennial toilet-matters advisor)

Sesame Street: Mad Men

Sesame Street: Mad Men is a spoof of the TV show "Mad Men" by Sesame Street.

Yes, why yes I am having a hard time keeping up with this daily blog. Second year is busy. Thanks for asking.
(From JenK)

Secret Girlfriends Throughout History

Secret Girlfriends Throughout History is a shameless picture/list/article on Buzzfeed.com, where they gathered up pictures of 8 modern-ish mistresses and 2 historical ones.

I had no idea about Claire Danes being a homewrecker. They should have a made a short-lived sitcom about THAT.
(From the Buzz )

He Wolf [probably NSFW]

He Wolf is a shot-by-shot remake of Shakira's music video She-wolf, but with a gay UW student. I don't know what's funnier, the word "lycanthropy" in a pop song or that guy piling into a single bed with his partner.

Enjoy!
(From Court)

So you think you can tell Arial from Helvetica?

So you think you can tell Arial from Helvetica? is a quiz on Ironic Sans that challenges you to distinguish between Arial and Helvetica. They display famous logos in both typefaces and ask you to decide which one is the original.  Geek-tastic. 

(From Metafilter)

Church Store Fail

Church Store Fail is an unintentionally humorous image from the failblog, showing the least appropriate thing to name a church goods store. Or most appropriate. Commenters, you decide. In any case, this image is appropriate for my finds today. Fail-tastic.

(From TM)

The Friends Theme and Sugar Ray

The Friends Theme and Sugar Ray is a video of Rob Paravonian doing stand-up. "Rob Paravonian uses the theme from Friends and the Sugar Ray song Every Morning to show that if you listen to the lyrics of a pop tune, it becomes really difficult to enjoy it anymore." True. This video is a blast from the past my friends.

Though I did always think that Sugar Ray guy sounded fratty and douchey. Wait, did I just say the same thing twice? Sorry.
(From my AIM profile. For realz.)