Five Great (and Still Lost) Treasures!

We've all visited the beach and inevitably there's those two or three souls searching for their big find: buried treasure. Now, I'll admit I've gone out with a friend and found a few random pieces of metal, but I've never fallen victim to the illusion that I would find a secret chest of gold.

Apparently, the illusion may not be. A Whole Lot of Nothing is a blog that has put together five secret caches that are still missing and can be yours for the taking.

From a hidden gold and silver cache in the hills of Ohio to Captain Kidd's hidden treasure chest located somewhere on the Connecticut River, if you're willing to put in the work, the payoff promises to be quite rewarding.

While there may be something to these wives' tales, the best part for me are the hilarious stories of treasure hunters' schemes for getting the treasure. So, don't lose too much sleep dreaming over your treasures.

(From A Whole Lot of Nothing via Neatorama)

Boyfriend Doesn't Have Ebola. Probably. *UPDATED*

Boyfriend Doesn't Have Ebola. Probably. *UPDATED* is a blog entry on Hyperbole and a Half, which proposes a new medical pain rating pictorial chart.

I totally want to cut this out and place it over the standard-use one. I hope the kids aren't too scared. Sigh.

(From Buzzfeed)

Wilbur Sargunaraj wants a Love Marriage

Mr. Sargunaraj seems to be every hipster's dream; I'm not entirely convinced he's not the product of some snickering kids in Williamsburg (or Tamil Nadu's equivalent). But he's just so delightful and genuine you have to kinda go with it.

For added kicks, check out Wilbur's website (the amazingly titled http://www.wilbur.asia, I kid you not), where he gives you plenty of little life tips and fun self-descriptors such as "If you like something fresh in the music industry- this is it!! Guaranteed! "He further defines his music style as "vocal chanting" (isn't all chanting vocal?). That said, even Roger Ebert likes him, so it can't be all bad ;)

Second video highlight? Blog Song, below:

(From Teej)

Gary: Landlord of the Flies

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What pregnant women won't tell you. Ever.

I came across a great article from Skepchick on the less glamorous details of pregnancy that may not make it past the editor's desk for What to Expect When You're Expecting. The best part of this article is that it's just one of the many great reads at Skepchick.

So, what is Skepchick?

From their site: "Skepchick is a group of women (and one deserving guy) who write about science, skepticism, and pseudoscience. With intelligence, curiosity, and occasional snark, the group tackles diverse topics from astronomy to astrology, psychics to psychology." Below is an excerpt from the article.

"[W]hile the human-baking process has been going on for like at least 6000 years or so, it’s hardly a process that’s been perfected. And shockingly, a good portion of the process is not discussed. Really. If you think that being pregnant is anything like what you’ve seen in the movies or heard from your friends or co-workers, you might be surprised to hear that normal uncomplicated pregnancies can suck.

So I made a list of things no one tells you about pregnancy until you’re already sucked in. Not everyone experiences all of these. Some women experience none of these. Some women experience all of these and more. And these do not include any of the things no one tells you about complications, miscarriages, infertility or unwanted pregnancy. So this list is only for the lucky ones.

You’re pregnant with a baby you want and you and your husband planned for! Congrats! You must be thrilled! Everyone else is! Don’t you love being pregnant? Everyone else does! It’s magical! It’s wonderful!

Except… you’re not. Don’t try to talk about it with anyone. It’s like explaining mustard to a frog. Women who are already parents will explain to you that you’re just dealing with some stress, and that everything will be fine. Everyone who is not a mother will just be confused or think you’re joking."

(From Skepchick via reddit)

People of Walmart

People of Walmart is a website devoted to mercilessly mocking Walmart customers of questionable fashion tastes. The site has gone viral and crashed a few hours ago, but since I checked it was back up.

It was founded by "three friends" after an "inspirational trip." The authors explain the purpose:

"This is purely for entertainment purposes and strictly limited to the outrageously bad / ugly / creepy / crazy shoppers. We don’t need to see pictures of you and your dumb friends dicking around at Walmart. There is no reason to send us pictures of people that are seriously and unfortunately handicapped so don’t be an asshole. We are trying to have some fun here and there is a difference between someone who is mentally challenged and a person who has a fu Manchu and is still rocking MC Hammer pants."

Enjoy!

PS: Why is there a Busted Tees advert in every single viral comedy site? Every single one.

(From MTMcC, who saw it at TIME.)

Blogs.com Top Ten

This is the most meta article ever.  Especially considering that 10 lb. weight banner I chose. (I picked it because I leave on the past 10 TOTIs. Also, because I happened to photograph a 10 lb. weight.) I digress:

Blogs.com Top Ten is a running list of top ten lists. That's right. They feature lists such as: "Top 10 Web 2.0 Blogs," "Top 10 Trading and Investing Blogs," and "10 Popular Blogs about Blogging."

Whoa. Think about that.  This is so meta it's practically evolved cognition.  

(From Justin, who's on fire!)

I Am Friends with Sluts [NSFW]

I Am Friends with Sluts is a blog about trashy women and barely hidden misogyny. People submit photos of slutty women and the authors make snarky comments about them.

Choice comments include,

"When all three stars light up you win a free coupon for Valtrex," [herpes medication]

"Not so much as an AA degree between the lot of us," and

"What do you mean that I 'sort of look like a dude?' I’m all woman. And silcone. And manface."

Enjoy!

(From Buzzfeed. More specifically, Peggy. Whenever I really like a link, it's usually by Peggy. )

King of Crayons

King of Crayons is a blog about children's coloring books when colored in the "wrong" way. Love it.

This brings me back memories of 2nd grade, when, newly arrived in the U.S., my ESL teacher yelled at me for coloring "wrong." I thought the soldiers looked good in green-mustard camouflage. Turns out civil war garb was not that advanced. And teachers can be mean. I'm looking at you, Ms. Kaiser.

(From I forget, sorry.)

There, I Fixed It

There, I Fixed It is a website about epic jury-rigs kludges. One image after another of things that really should not exist. According to the authors, "We celebrate these iconic images of mankind’s eternal struggle to hammer square pegs into round holes (with duct tape.)" 

You can contribute pictures of your handiwork to thereifixedit@gmail.com.

(From Rolf)

Creepy Faces

Creepy Faces is a blog about the art of ruining a picture. It's okay. They feature normal pictures ruined by people in the background, with some exceptions. Okay a lot of exceptions. It seems like a good chunk are just pictures of people making faces on purpose.  The best ones live up to the orginal intent of the blog. According to them:

"We're here to showcase you, Mr. and Mrs. Normal McNormalface, ruining a seemingly normal picture with a distorted, twisted, bone-chilling face that would make your Mama sad to have ever born you.

We obviously accept user submissions - in fact, we encourage them. But please remember this site is not about being malicious, it's all about being funny. So please keep this in mind when you're sending us your photos. Otherwise, creep on."

Enjoy! Especially the one below, as pointed out by Creepy Faces. Wallflower is appalled that Gilligan -of-the-dreadful-shirt is getting it on with Flee-Godzilla girl. Everyone else is chill.


(From   a metafilter comment )

Ugliest Tatoos

Back on the bad tattoos theme, which I'm rather fond of, there is a whole blog devoted just to that. (Oh Interwebs, what *don't* you offer!).  Ugliest Tattoos, The Gallery of Regrets is a blog devoted to mocking awful tattoos. In their own words:

"Some tattoos are great. Girl in martini glass? Sexy! Giant swimming koi? Appreciative of other cultures! A well-executed tree, branches to the sky, roots to the earth? Nice. Very tasteful. Symbolic, yet understated.

But some tattoos are . . . less great. In fact, some are brain-explodingly terrible. The butterfly tramp stamps, NASCAR emblems, and Star Trek commemorative plate–style back pieces that walk this earth are an assault on the eyes and an affront to all who encounter them. Thank god you don’t have one of those. Oh wait, you do?

Can I see?"

The winners here were all from the winning page 3. 

(From my interest in bad tattoos. Which is similar to my interest in awful plastic surgery.)

Why chicks cry

Why chicks cry is an entry on John Glenn Taylor's Easily Mused blog, which shows women crying in DC romance comics (1957 to 1968), each figure carefully captioned with rationales for the tears.  As Metafilter points out, it's snark-tastic fun.  

My favorites include "Running out of caviar," "Typographical errors," and "Sudden Paralysis."
Enjoy!

PS: This entry is your official Comic-con tie-in. Stay Classy, San Diego.

(From Metafilter)

DEALBREAKER.

DEALBREAKER. is a tumblr blog about relationship dealbreakers and how they are capable of ruining everything. Some relationships are over before they start.

The entries include an eponymous dealbreaker, and a paragraph from the perspective of the dumper explaining to the dumpee why the dealbreaker ruined all chances of true love. 

Featured dealbreakers include "You're cheap," "You Love Strip Clubs," "Your Infatuation With Children’s Literature," and "You Chew Tobacco." Pretty spot-on, I say. The blog comes with pretty pictures as well. Ace. 

(From KS)

Margaret and Helen

Margaret and Helen is a personal/political blog by some very old ladies, that have been friends for a very long time. In their own words:

"My name is Helen Philpot. I am 82 years old. My grandson taught me how to do this so that I could “blog” with my best friend Margaret Schmechtman who I met in college almost 60 years ago. I have three children with my husband Harold. Margaret has three dogs with her husband Howard. I live in Texas and Margaret lives in Maine.

Are you for real?
Why is that so hard to believe? Now I know what Santa Claus must feel like.

Have you really been friends for 60 years?
Some friendships last a lifetime. We just seem to be living a hell of a long time.

Why doesn’t Margaret write more?
She prefers to pick up the phone and call. I guess I am more the writer, but she is a wonderful artist. I have some of her paintings in my house. My grandchildren set me up on this computer, but Margaret always has problems getting on the Internet and says it is too slow. Maybe it is a Maine thing. She reads all of the comments and calls me when she sees a comment that she wants to talk about. Sometimes she offers witty lines that I add to my stories."

(From Guy)

Valerie Atherton's Playgound and Intellectual Department

Valerie Atherton's Playgound and Intellectual Department is a website about movies and movie reviews.

According to reader/friend Justin:
"I recommend reading her Star Trek Review, in which she claims Dane Cook inspired the 'Live Long and Prosper' hand gesture..."

Valerie an Valerie:

Facts:
I was born in Malibu, California.
I was a successful tween model for a few years.
In school, I was voted best smile.
I took some acting classes before, but the teacher was English and thought he was all that. La-me.
My heros are my parents, poor people who work hard or win a lottery and can live the American dream, famous women who struggled and did important things and made a difference.
Why the Blog?
I grew up being told by my parents and teachers and friends that there was something special about me, that I would go on to do big things. So here I am! I have decided that I want to be a writer because I think I have a unique perspective on things (a young, hip perspective from today’s generation) and can offer intelligent things to be read.
I call it Valerie Atherton’s Playground and Intellectual Department! Why? Because sometimes it’ll be silly like playing at a playground and sometimes it’ll make you stop and think about stuff.
xo -Val"

That's the tone. Justin goes on: "...I figured it would be obvious to those reading the reviews that this is a joke. Luckily, this is the interwebs and reading the comments to her blogs is just as entertaining as the ignorant article itself."

(From Justin)

40 Useful and Creative Infographics

40 Useful and Creative Infographics is an article on six revisions.com about pretty and informative infographics.

As an extremly infrequent coffee drinker, the coffee one clarified a lot for me.


(From Dan S.)

Funny Street View Google Maps

Funny Street View Google Maps is a self-explanatory blog that chronicles interesting scenes captured on Google Maps Street View (akin to this previosly featured TOTI).

Pictures include anything from leopard print pimp cars in San Diego to an alleyway tummy show down in Barcelona. Sometimes the pictures have trouble loading and you have to click on the title of the entry. 
(From Sarah W.)

Rorty Bomb

This is kind of a quirky not-really-musical follow-up to the recently posted "Africa" and "Total Eclipse of the Heart" entries. But basically, I like serious blogs with non-serious entries.//Rorty Bomb is a finance/personal blog written by Mike, "a financial engineer in the San Francisco Bay Area. Originally from Chicago, he enjoys economics, sociology, critical theory, tacos, whiskey and center-left politics on the side." 

Mike uses a sparse, words-and-white-background minimalist prefab theme for the blog, which he decorates with a smattering of silly pictures for comic effect.  The blog is named after a difficult-to-pronounce philosopher. Rorty Bomb features timely heavy-duty subjects like the financial crisis (proposing his own gloomy Do-It-Yourself stress tests!) and the impending Iranian Twitter Revolution.

But better yet,  Rorty Bomb includes this gem, which was linked to by the New York Time's Opinionator:

"Good Hangovers

There are too many negative 'I don’t remember last night' hangover stories that involve a tiger in the bathroom and people missing. I want to share a positive one. One night after finals weeks concluded in graduate school, me and my roommate were overserved by the local bar.

I woke up the next morning not sure how the night concluded. I went to check my email and saw 4 emails I didn’t expect from Ebay. Are you familiar with Ebay’s 'Buy it Now' feature? I had received two emails at 3 in the morning saying that I had won two 'Buy it Now' auctions, and two additional emails saying my payment via paypal had been received and my product would be shipping in the morning.

I was quite scared to open those emails, but it turned out I had purchased Toto’s Toto IV (featuring the hit songs 'Africa' and 'Rosanna') on vinyl, as well as a 7″ single for Bonnie Tyler’s 'Total Eclipse of the Heart.' With shipping, this was a total of about $11, perhaps the best $11 I’ve spent in my life.

We pieced together that this purchase was made to settle an argument over me playing Rosanna on the dive bar’s internet jukebox, when Africa was available. My stance, that you should switch up the Toto, was taken as me endorsing Rosanna as a better song than Africa, which is nonsense, though I may have said something akin to 'we really need to hear this on vinyl before we can make a judgement call.' "

Pretty ace.(From mjg)

Kermit Bale

Kermit Bale is a Livejournal entry that Ferd (handle: ferdalump) wrote in Ohnotheydidnt.

It posts pictures of Christian Bale side by side with analogous pictures of Kermit the Frog. Clearly, we have a Superman-and-Clark-Kent situation here.

Enjoy the samples!



(From Kottke)