Don't Even Reply

Don't Even Reply is a website by a prick who messes with people and then posts the results online.  According to John, the prick: "This is a collection of e-mails I have sent to people who post classified ads. My goal is to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off. These are the ones that succeeded." He explains further:

FAQ:
Why don't they just ignore you?
Most of them do. I'd say only 10% of people I write to write back.

What is with all the different names you use?
They are all me, just different e-mail accounts.

HEY! I recognize myself in one of these e-mails, you prick!
No you don't. You're wrong. Go away.

Why are a lot of these e-mails sexist?
It seems to piss the women off more. I'm not really sexist or racist, but I still find it hilarious.

How can I contact you?
Put up a classified ad, and try to sound like an idiot. I'll find you.

No seriously. I want to give you money.
In that case, john@dontevenreply.com. I'll try to respond, but I do get a lot of e-mails so don't think I am a jerk if I don't."

And here are some samples, enjoy! 

Original ad: 

litter of 6 kittens up for adoption! they are all 3 weeks old and are looking for a good home. contact if interested.

From Mike Hunt to *********@***********.org 
Hi, 
I am interested in taking all six kittens off of your hands. How much do you want for them? 
Mike 

From Shannon ******* to Me 
Mike, 
Are you going to take care of all of these kittens? I want to make sure they all find a good home, and was expecting to sell them one at a time. Are you able to house all six of them? 

From Mike Hunt to Shannon ******* 
Shannon, 
To be honest, I own a pet Bengal Tiger and he is on a strict diet of cats. I usually feed him one cat every couple of days, so this litter should hold him over for a while. Don't worry though, I'll take good care of the kittens until I feed them to him. 
Mike 

From Shannon ******* to Me 
That is horrible! You will not get a single kitten from me. I really hope you are not serious. 
From Mike Hunt to Shannon ******* 

Shannon, 
I was kidding. I seriously need all six kittens though. Disregard anything I said about a tiger. 

From Shannon ******* to Me 
NO.

And a second:

"Original ad:
if anyone wants a ride from baltimore to nyc tomorow let me know! i am driving up there sometime tomorow afternoon and would be glad to help someone out if they want to throw up some money for gas. i drive a hybrid, so i wont need much!
From Mike Partlow to *************@*********.org

Hello,
I do need a ride to New York tomorrow. That would be great. My only concern is the fact that you drive a hybrid car. I don't want to give people the idea that I care about the environment. Do you have another, more manly car that we could ride up in? I really don't want to be seen in a hybrid. I'll gladly compensate you for gas.
Mike

From christine ********* to Me
no all i have is my hybrid. what is the big deal, who cares what people think? u should be glad to help the enviroment!

From Mike Partlow to christine **********
I'm sorry Christine but it isn't the 60's anymore. People aren't a bunch of earth-saving hippies that run around and hug trees anymore. Does your car have tinted windows? I really don't want to be seen riding in that bitch-mobile. My only request is that you stop by a lake somewhere so I can dump a can of motor oil in it, to make up for all of the earth that your car will be saving. Don't worry, I'll pay for the motor oil.
Mike

From christine ********* to Me
wtf is wrong with u! im not giving u a ride ur a jerk!!!

From Mike Partlow to christine **********
Well I am sorry you won't have the privilege of riding with me. Fortunately for me, I found a better, more badass ride to NYC. I'll be sure to wave at your crappy little hybrid as we pass you in our F-350, spraying cans of aerosol out the window and throwing empty six-pack holders into the sea.
Mike"

(From mjg and goosie gander)