Sunday, August 24, 2008

The Darwin Awards

Today's guest TOTI brought to you by Guy du Blag!

The Darwin Awards is a website that commemorates those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. In other words, it's a website that mocks all the stupid things people have done to themselves. Each year, the website dedicates one award from each category for the dumbest of our species.

Take this story for example:

In 1982 Lawn Chair Larry, beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy attempt, attached 45 helium weather balloons to his comfortable Sears lawn chair, packed a picnic and a , and cut the tether. But instead of drifting lazily above the Los Angeles landscape, the combined lift of 45 huge helium balloons rocketed Larry into LAX air traffic lanes 16,000 feet above sea level. Astoundingly, he survived the "flight."

A 63-year-old man's extraordinary effort to eradicate moles from his property resulted in a victory for the moles. The man pounded several metal rods into the ground and connected them--not to household current, which would have been bad enough--but to a high-voltage power line, intending to render the subterranean realm uninhabitable.

Incidentally, the maneuver electrified the very ground on which he stood. He was found dead some time later, at his holiday property on the Baltic Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property.

Ostrich Axioms
A gentleman in Denver decided that since he couldn't find a human dance partner, he would make do with an ostrich. Yes, an ostrich. Not a duck -- they only know disco. Not a Rhode Island Red -- communists all of 'em. But an ostrich. So he did what any other person with such a yen would do. He went to an ostrich farm, climbed a ten-foot fence, and tried to catch one.

You can probably guess what happened at this point...

(From Guy du Blag)

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