"Pay Your Uncle Pete To Ask You To Be An Assassin Day!
At around 1PM today, have your Uncle Pete show up to your social studies class dressed in all black. He’ll knock on the door and the teacher will let him in, thinking he’s a responsible adult who has something important to share. Then he’ll find you and he’ll say what you told him to say, word for word.
'I’m sorry to interrupt your studies, but I can’t take no for an answer when we both know that life as a highly paid killer is your destiny. Will you join our Secret Order of International Assassins?' ... "
Another bloodshed favorite:
"Some Christmas Trees Can Talk and Fight Terrorism Day!And so on an so forth. More recently, Bob has a second book out, a choose-your-own-adventure titled, "YOU ARE A MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A HERO," which was featured on NPR. My favorite part of the NPR story is when he reads the opening of the book:
Today, at age 35, you’re going to be woken up when your front door bursts from its hinges and an old, brown Christmas Tree still sprinkled with tinsel comes hopping through your apartment to your bed.
'Why didn’t you kill them?' the Christmas Tree will ask..."
"Be very careful! You're directing the story and the choices you make can result in murder, graduate school enrollment, torture, marriage, post-apocalyptic slavery, unwanted pregnancy, and even temping!"